For a good reporter’s style, practice putting the News First!
Do you want your story to sound like essay or journalism? It comes down often to your ORDER OF DICTION, meaning your order of words in the sentence itself.
Put the most important news FIRST in the sentence, not last in the sentence.
This draft is a very slow, delayed workaround to the better news at the end that–GEEZ!– a school record was set! That’s the news that must come earlier. It is NOT news that the usual schools in PAC-7 swam in AG’s pool.
- 13 swimmers not 2
- School record, event, time, swimmer name
- Best boys performance